Connecting the cross to everyday life can be a challenge for every believer, regardless of their occupation. But for busy moms this can be especially difficult, which is why we're so grateful that Gloria Furman agreed to answer a few questions about this important topic. This is one of the topics we'll be covering in our upcoming Secret Church, "The Cross and Everyday Life."
Gloria is a wife, a mother of four young children, a doula, a blogger, and an author. She and her husband Dave serve at Redeemer Church in Dubai. Watch for Gloria's forthcoming book Treasuring Christ When Your Hands are Full: Gospel Meditations for Busy Moms (expected March 31, 2014 from Crossway). Crossway has provided a free study guide for the book here.
1. Gloria, why is it so difficult for busy moms in particular to see how the gospel relates to their everyday life?
A few years ago I read this odd-sounding prayer that is attributed to Jonathan Edwards: "Lord, stamp eternity on my eyeballs." Once I thought about it, I realized that it wasn't so odd after all. I think the assumption behind this prayer is precisely what makes it hard for this busy mom to see how the gospel relates to everyday life.
I watch my preschoolers throwing elbows to push the buttons in the elevator and I find it hard to imagine them as adults. I grow frustrated while serving them and the furthest thing from my mind is that we have eternal souls and are unspeakably loved by our Creator. In short, I forget eternity and struggle to see how the gospel relates to these mundane mothering moments.
Many of us are used to thinking that the gospel is good news for non-Christians, but has little to do with believers who are years past our born-again birthday. We may think that the cross is good for annual reflection on Good Friday, but we need something "deeper" to get us through an ordinary, sock-folding Friday morning. But living in light of the gospel lifts our gaze to the horizon of eternity and it affects how we view everyday motherhood. We see that the cross is actually central to our motherhood. What distinctively Christian hope do we have as moms without the atoning sacrifice of Jesus and his triumphant resurrection? A gravely sobering: none.
We understand that we are about the work of helping to prepare our children for life in God's new creation. But it's difficult for busy moms to see how the gospel relates to everyday life because we're often preoccupied by what's right in front of us (or climbing on us). The gospel fuels our hope! And our work as moms can serve to fix the eyes of our hearts on our glorious God and on things unseen (2 Cor. 4:18) so we can see our work for what it really is—worship.
2. Can you give moms out there a practical example of how treasuring Christ and the gospel affects one of your everyday tasks?
The South Africans in our community have this saying: "Sharing is caring." Like little parrots, my children repeat this phrase. Do you want a sip of mom's peanut butter banana smoothie? Reach up with your little hands and squeal, "Sharing is caring, Mom!" Sharing is part and parcel to motherhood. In a thousand tiny ways we are called to share, to give, and to sacrifice. The sacrificial stretching of a mother can reach far—from your wallet to your weekend, your worries, and even your waistline.
But we live in an age that celebrates autonomy; we are lovers of self. When I feel like my child is intentionally testing my patience, my first thought is generally not that I'm eager to die to myself. I don't care to share anything except a sharp rebuke or an ignoring, cold shoulder. But treasuring Christ flips my autonomy affair on its head and makes the inclination of my heart to celebrate dependence on God's grace. In the everyday task of training my children the gospel reminds me that my Savior cared to share his own life with me by dying on the cross while I was yet his enemy (Rom. 5:8). He wore a crown of thorns and went down into the grave so he could redeem my life from the pit and crown me with his steadfast love and mercy. Christ gives me his love and mercy to share with my children.
It's through Christ's strength that I can give of myself in death-defying and death-embracing motherhood. Jesus empowers me to choose to nurture life instead of scorn it. He leads me to lay down my wants, needs, and rights for the sake of loving my kids. His love emboldens me to put to death the deeds of my flesh for the sake of loving my kids. And even when I fail to love as Christ loves (and we all fail), his Spirit encourages me to boldly approach God's throne of grace because Christ himself is my righteousness. I love how 1 Peter 4:11 describes who gets the glory when I serve my children with the strength God supplies: "… in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen."
Through these ordinary moments of motherhood Jesus invites us to himself to share in his love: "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love" (John 15:9).
3. As you've noted before, many moms struggle to see the significance of their work. How would you encourage them to see their work as a part of the bigger picture of what God is doing in the world?
I will be the first to confess that my "big picture" vision is often getting dinner on the table and packing school lunches before I go to bed. It's so easy to lose sight of the bigger picture of what God is doing in the world. That's why we need to take the long-view of motherhood, which stretches way past potty training, high school graduation, and even the course of our own lives. The long-view of motherhood has at its center the cross of Jesus Christ. We see motherhood through the lens of Christ's substitutionary death. Jesus' death has made a way for you and your children to be fellow heirs with Christ (Rom. 8:17, Heb. 2:11). Imagine… your son—a little brother in the Lord! Your daughter—a little sister in the Lord!
Mary's newborn had tiny little feet and delicate toes—serpent-crushing feet (Gen. 3:15). God sent a man—the God-man—to do the work of subduing his enemy and pursuing his lost children to the furthest reaches of the earth scattered across every generation of human history. When it's Tuesday morning and we see the effects of the Fall "as sin reigned in death," we look to the cross and remember that because of Jesus' death, "grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord" (Rom. 5:21). By God's grace we are nurturing life in the face of death to the praise of his glory. That includes smearing butter on toast, cleaning smeared handprints from the walls, correcting homework and attitudes, and everything else busy moms do.
We must take the long-view of motherhood, where the serpent-crushing, incarnate Son of God is risen and reigning. The Father "put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church" (Eph. 1:22). Moms are part of Christ's multiethnic Bride who walks the earth in her beautiful feet bringing good news to all peoples everywhere (Rom. 10:15). With the cross as our center, we can mother our children with an eye on the horizon of eternity.
Christian mother, be encouraged that you have your hands full… with every spiritual blessing in Christ (Eph. 1:3). And your work in nurturing your children is your privileged participation in God's work as he unites all things in Jesus (Eph. 1:10).
