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| Trying to Overcome Raw Emotions? The Secret of Imperfect Progress Posted: 26 Oct 2012 08:31 AM PDT In the aftermath of a “tirade” over missing towels, Lysa TerKeurst reflects on her struggle with raw emotions, then shares an insight that gave her new hope. This is an excerpt from Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions. I’m sad because of the way I acted today. I’m disappointed in my lack of self-control. I’m sad that I accused my girls when later I found the towels in my son’s room. Go figure. And the more I relive my towel tirade, the more my brain refuses sleep… What is my problem? Why can’t I seem to control my reactions? I stuff. I explode. And I don’t know how to get a handle on this. But God help me if I don’t get a handle on this. I will destroy the relationships I value most and weave into my life permanent threads of short-temperedness, shame, fear, and frustration. Is that what I really want? Do I want my headstone to read, “Well, on the days she was nice she was really nice. But on the days she wasn’t, rest assured, hell hath no fury like the woman who lies beneath the ground right here”? No. That’s not what I want. Not at all. I don’t want the script of my life to be written that way. So, at 2:08 a.m., I vow to do better tomorrow. But better proves elusive, and my vow wears thin in the face of daily annoyances and other unpleasant realities. Tears slip and I’m worn out from trying. Always trying. So who says emotions aren’t bad? I feel like mine are. I feel broken. Unglued, actually… I know what it’s like to praise God one minute and in the next minute yell and scream at my child — and then to feel both the burden of my destructive behavior and the shame of my powerlessness to stop it. I also know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of unglued behavior… And the emotional demands keep on coming. Unrelenting insecurity. Wondering if anyone appreciates me. Feeling tired, stressed, hormonal. Feeling unglued is really all I’ve ever known. And I’m starting to wonder if maybe it’s all I’ll ever be. Those were the defeating thoughts I couldn’t escape. Maybe you can relate. If you relate to my hurt, I pray you will also relate to my hope.
The hope of imperfect progressWhat kept me from making changes was the feeling that I wouldn’t do it perfectly. I knew I’d still mess up and the changes wouldn’t come instantly. Sometimes we girls think if we don’t make instant progress, then real change isn’t coming. But that’s not so. There is a beautiful reality called imperfect progress. The day I realized the glorious hope of this kind of imperfect change is the day I gave myself permission to believe I really could be different. Imperfect changes are slow steps of progress wrapped in grace … imperfect progress. And good heavens, I need lots of that. So, I dared to write this in my journal: Progress. Just make progress. It’s okay to have setbacks and the need for do-overs. It’s okay to draw a line in the sand and start over again — and again. Just make sure you’re moving the line forward. Move forward. Take baby steps, but at least take steps that keep you from being stuck. Then change will come. And it will be good. Unglued is about my imperfect progress — a rewrite for the ongoing script of my life and a do-over of sorts for my raw emotions. Imperfect changes are slow steps of progress wrapped in grace … imperfect progress. It’s an honest admission that this struggle of reining in how I react has been hard for me. But hard doesn’t mean impossible… Might all this struggle with our raw emotions and unglued feelings have … potential for new life and new strength? I think so. I know so. I’ve seen so. -From Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst (@LysaTerKeurst)
Learn more about Lysa TerKeurst’s new book Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions. You can read more about TerKeurst’s self-described “towel tirade,” and the promise of progress, free in chapter 1 from Unglued. (Some styling in this post is a blog-exclusive feature not included in the text of the featured product.) | ||
| Let It Go Small Group Bible Study by Karen Ehman Posted: 26 Oct 2012 05:49 AM PDT
Let It Go, Karen’s new small group study, is a six-session video-based study giving women practical, biblically based steps for letting go of the need to control, dictate, and even manipulate the people and situations around them, and instead, trust that God has their best interests in mind. Here is Karen talking about the study: |
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