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| Disappointment and Two Comforting Promises from God Posted: 28 Sep 2012 07:04 AM PDT Where is God when tragedy strikes? Christine Caine shares two biblical truths that comforted her in the wake of a soul-crushing disappointment — a miscarriage. I recommend this excerpt from Undaunted to anyone who feels drained and discouraged by disappointments. -Adam Forrest Stuck in disappointmentDisappointment is a sad and terribly lonely place. We all land there at some point in life. Your children move away and never call. Colleagues betray you. The company to which you’ve devoted your years “downsizes,” and you’re on the list right along with the newcomer and the slacker. The man you love doesn’t love you back. The perfect child you dream over and tend in pregnancy is born with defects that will make the rest of your life, and all your family members’ lives, nothing less than challenging. You get a disease or suffer an injury for which there is no relief or cure. Your investments dwindle. Friends disappear. The one you’ve prayed to find Jesus never does. Your dreams shatter. Best-laid plans go astray. Other Christians fail you. People disappoint you. You even disappoint yourself. Any one of these things can introduce sadness, discouragement, and dismay into your life; any of these things can daunt you. And the long series of disappointments you accumulate in a lifetime can stop you from moving forward into all the goodness God has planned for you — and that means they’ll be stopping not only you, but also all those God has destined you to reach along your life journey. After all, how can anyone stuck in their own disappointment help others out of theirs? How can you convince others of the wonder of God’s promises if you doubt them yourself? How can you share how God has saved you when you don’t feel saved at all? The miscarriageI had to resolve my own heartache if I expected to keep ministering to others in theirs. But [this miscarriage] would be a hard one to move beyond. Why is it that you can know in your head that God has your good in mind and can redeem any and every circumstance, and yet you can still feel hugely disappointed and deeply despondent? Your head tells you God is trustworthy — but in a moment of aching disappointment, your heart tells you he’s not even there. In my world and Nick’s, after the miscarriage, everything was not okay. If we were going to get through this without developing bitterness of spirit, we had to process our disappointment in a healthy way. We had to conclude for ourselves that the valley of death we were walking through isn’t, to borrow an image from Pilgrim’s Progress, a Slough of Despond from which we would never emerge, but simply a shadow, and that shadow would not define our lives. Christ does. And yet — this was not a job loss, or a financial reversal, or a wrecked car. This was the death of a long-awaited child, a child much-loved though I never had the chance to hold him in my arms or kiss his head or feel his breath on my face. This would be so hard to triumph over. If I were to move beyond the daunting disappointment of this moment, I would have to remind myself of things about God that I knew to be true, though they might not feel true at the moment. There was so much I did not know, yet I was determined to cling to what I did know. I turned to the only place I could in such grief. I turned to God’s Word. Let me share with you the truths that brought me deep comfort and helped me begin to accept the disappointments that we cannot escape in life.
Two comforting promises from God1. God is not unfair, silent, or hidden. God knows things we don’t know, and does things in ways we could never predict. He is infinite and we are finite. After all, God reminds us: “My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways… For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8–9) … We will never understand, this side of heaven, why bad things happen to us and those we love. Nor will we understand so many unexplainable tragedies in this world, from war to famine to earthquake. But just because we do not understand these things doesn’t mean we must stop trusting God, who has proven again and again that he loves us… 2. Jesus is with us through our heartache and leads us to something better ahead. Luke 24:13–35 tells of two disciples leaving Jerusalem after Jesus’ burial. On the road to a town called Emmaus, they were heartbroken and bitterly disappointed... They had hoped and believed that Jesus was the one sent to redeem Israel. But those hopes were shattered just as his body was shattered, and then beaten, bruised, crucified, and buried. Their dreams died on the cross with Jesus… A man met them on the road and walked along with them as they talked of these things. But they were so downcast, so crushed, they never took a good look at their fellow traveler. Their heads, like their hearts, were bent in despair. “What are you discussing?” the man asked. Amazed, they stopped. “Are you the only one visiting Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?” one of the men, Cleopas, said. “What things?” the man asked. “About Jesus of Nazareth,” the men replied… It was then, when they looked up, that the man began explaining to them how Israel was going to be redeemed. He knew the promises of God by heart, and explained how those promises would be fulfilled in such a way that they would change the world. A new kingdom was at hand. Walking alongside him, the disciples listened. Before they knew it, they reached Emmaus, their destination… “Stay with us,” the disciples urged. He did, and when they all sat down to eat that night, at the table, he “took bread, gave thanks, broke it, and began to give it to them.” Jesus! Their eyes were opened. The one walking with them through their disappointment, the one who gave them hope that God had a plan, a plan so big that even a crucifixion couldn’t stop it, a plan that would in fact use the crucifixion to redeem the world — was Jesus himself. He was not only alive but here, right in front of them, blessing them, feeding them, walking them through their deepest disappointment. He had not left them; he had not forsaken them. How blinded we become by disappointment! Sometimes, like the disciples, we’re so blind that we can’t see Jesus walking with us through our heartache, leading us to something better ahead. He wants to show us that God has made a way for us that leads far beyond disappointment. God has big plans for us — things to do, people to see, places to go… Christ promises us that, beyond disappointment, something better awaits us. Some mission God designed just for us, custom tailored — something that takes us not on a road to nowhere but to a place where we can feed others just as he has fed us. “Go,” he told his disciples in Matthew 28:16–20. Go into all the world. Keep going past disappointment. Go and share everything I’ve shared with you. “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Just as he blessed the disciples at the end of the hard road to Emmaus with the yeasty goodness of fresh-baked bread, he blesses us so that we can bless others — and then he invites us to accompany him further down that road, looking for others knocked off their feet by hurt and heartache. -From Undaunted by Christine Caine (@ChristineCaine)
Learn more about Christine Caine’s new book Undaunted: Daring to Do what God Calls You to Do
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| 4 Things Girls Should Know About Talking to Guys Online Posted: 27 Sep 2012 01:01 PM PDT
This post has been adapted from an excerpt of The Whole Guy Thing: What Every Girl Needs to Know about Crushes, Friendship, Relating, and Dating, by Nancy Rue. Is it okay to chat with a guy online? Girls frequently confide in me that it's so much easier for them to establish a friendship with a guy on Facebook or via e-mail or even texting. Here's what they've said:
and:
Social networking can be a total blast, and it eliminates that awkward "what do I do with my arms?" and "I bet my face looks red as a beefsteak tomato right now." If both you and a guy you're chatting with on Facebook are being real, it can be a way to start getting to know each other. And if he lives far away, you've taken your friendships global. There are benefits to online friendships, but the issue with the Internet is that it can also be used in the wrong way as well. It was created to give everybody a voice, but there are some voices you don't need to hear. That doesn't mean you shouldn't use the social network to develop friendships. You just have to be super careful. 4 Helpful Hints:1. If you have never actually met the guy you're chatting with (as in, you haven't seen each other's real faces!)……don't give away any personal or contact information. (Which means keep all of that out of your profile too.) Let your conversations be light and focused on interests you share, rather than on your virtual feelings for each other. Not to make you paranoid, but you really don't know who this guy is and whether anything he's saying is the truth. Definitely do NOT agree to meet with him, and if he asks, make sure you tell an adult you trust. 2. If you have met the guy and you're keeping in touch because he lives someplace else……take the same approach as if you'd never seen him in person. Unless you know you're going to get together again, under safe circumstances, there's really no point in going for deep soul-sharing. Becoming emotionally involved with someone you've barely met is never a good idea. 3. If your text/email/Facebook guy friend is somebody you see often (church, school, sports, that kind of thing)……talking via the Internet can indeed help you get past the initial shyness and keep you from turning into a sweaty mess the minute he looks at you. It will be like picking up the conversation where you left it when you signed off. 4. No matter what the situation is with an Internet friend……remember that everything you post is potentially public. That's actually a good thing. It makes you think before you hit Enter: Is this something I'd want my mom and dad to see? Do I actually want the entire world to know this? One girl sums it up beautifully:
What will that look like? That depends on your personality and his, though God does give us some basics to go on. The most important thing to remember is that your relationships should be based on love, whether online or in the real world. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4 – 8 and see if you can envision the picture as it applies to you.
What Do You Think?Do you have any advice about talking to guys on Facebook, e-mail, or texting? Is your relationship based on real love (not necessarily romantic love) and respect like 1 Corinthians suggests? Are you a parent who has experience on this topic or found this post helpful? Tell us your thoughts! About Nancy Rue
(This post does not represent the views of Zondervan or any of its representatives. The writer’s personal opinions are shared only for information purposes. To receive new Zondervan Blog posts in your reader or email inbox, subscribe to Zondervan Blog.) |
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